Wednesday morning

Good morning all.  Yesterday I had a day of total indolence and didn't even get out of my dressing gown.  I cared for Mike but little else and as he is now sleeping a lot especially at night I am able to rest more easily myself.  The only things he wants to eat are biscuits or other sweet things so I am keeping him supplied with jaffa cakes and the like.  He is drinking very little maybe 200mls per day just enough to keep his mouth damp.  I have backed right off and I am leaving him to do precisely what he wants the only thing I am really monitoring is his morphine which I am making sure he get regularly so he is comfortable.  I have alerted his brothers to the situation and asked them to stay away as Mike really doesn't want to have crowds of visitors.  I think he is embarrassed about his decrepit state and though he shouldn't be he is.  If he changes his mind I will, of course, summon them immediately.

I am a very lucky person not only do I have the boys for support but all my friends are in constant contact and checking up on me and how I am fairing.  They have all offered me help should I need it and I know that I can call at any time and they will come running.  Which gives me huge confidence should I hit a brick wall.  In the meantime, I am just treading water.  This is now a waiting game and I am trying to brace myself for the inevitable outcome.

Shiona is currently nursing a colleague who has just had a knee replacement and doesn't have any family to help her.  I am hoping I might be able to take a couple of hours off on Friday to visit her but much depends on the situation here.   

Sorry, this is so downbeat but life is tough for us all.  Thank you for your kind comments.


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