Sunday Morning

Good morning all it is still pitch dark outside but dry at the moment though we are forecast rain later. I woke this morning with backache but I am hoping I have just slept awkwardly and it will pass as I start to move about a bit.  Yesterday was a good day I got loads of shopping done and all the laundry then I got stuck into making the venison casserole.  Once I had fried off all the meat and vegetables I put them into the slow cooker with half a litre of the stock made from the bones and the juice from the pan deglazed with marsala.  The addition of a jar of ready prepared chestnuts made all the difference.  We ate half for lunch and the remainder is now back in the freezer in the form of a pie with a puff pastry lid.  The other half of the puff pastry which was leftover I cut to form a square tart which I filled with a jar of pre-prepared grilled peppers and some leftover cheddar cheese which made a very acceptable supper.

For lunch today I have a chicken which I am going to simply roast in the halogen oven and serve with creamed leeks and potatoes.  Hopefully there will be enough left over for some cold chicken sandwiches for supper.  In the mean time the dining room looks like a chinese laundry with washing draped everywhere.  However it is all dry now so I can clear it up and get the ironing done and out of the way.  

Now I said I would keep you abreast of the medication I have been given but frankly I am losing hope that it will ever work.  I came to at 1.30am in flat spin and decided the only option was to take my sleeping tablet at that point.  I don't take them regularly as most nights I sleep well without any help and they do leave me a bit flat in the morning.  I use them as an emergency backup.  The anti anxiety medication seems to be doing nothing except rob me of my motivation.  I shall wait until the 8 weeks is up and if I am still no better I will return to the doctor and see if he can suggest something different.  Not all medication suits everyone and some have a paradoxical effect.  However you are never sure how bad you would be without them so it is a bit of dilemma.  All I am sure of is they are not doing what I want them to do.  In the mean time I will struggle on and hope things eventually come right.  

Sandy rang me first thing yesterday to say that her brother in law had died at 4am and though it was expected it is none the less painful.  There are no words that offer comfort you just have to live through the grieving process.  Losing someone you love is always difficult, but time does heal most wounds. Though at the time you don't believe it.
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