Sunday morning

Yesterday was one of the longest days of my life.  It seemed like a good idea to have a pampering day but in fact it gave me hours to think and ponder on the situation.  In the end I came to the conclusion that no matter which way the cards fall I am going to be hurt.  I have been piggy in the middle for 40 years and that is never going to change.  James and Mike don't get on and never will. Neither of them is well enough to live alone so every time there is a clash I am left to pick up the pieces.   I had made contingency plans for Mike to be cared for while we were on holiday and I needed James help with the caravan as it is getting too much for me to handle on my own.  I had expected a few ruckshions but I didn't expect the lengths Mike would resort to to make sure we didn't go.  I'm sorry if this sounds like bleating and whining but I am between a rock and a hard place with no room for maneuver.  On the plus side I am very clean as is the bathroom and Sandy has invited me to have lunch with them today which will get me out of the house for a couple of hours.  I think the only way I am going to weather this storm is to bury myself in jobs and not give myself time to think while I wait for the wheels of the NHS to turn.  Now seems as good a time as any to clean out the sheds and put the new hoover to work.  I have bulbs to plant and plenty of weeds to deal with. Following the freezer disaster I also have plenty of room for some batch cooking so that will keep me occupied for a while.  

Thank you all for your good wishes I must say my friends have been fabulous and rallied around me but sadly there is nothing anyone can do to ameliorate the situation.  I am sure things will sort themselves out one way or the other in the fullness of time but until they do I will just have to try and keep my head above the water.

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