Yes it is the crack of dawn but I have been asleep for many hours. By about 6pm I had completely run out of gas. I had spent the morning trying to get some help for Mike via the psychiatric teams, age uk, the GP, but it is like wading through treacle. Each phone call just leads on to another phone call and then on to the next. Anyway, the upshot of the exercise is that I have an urgent appointment for a psychiatric assessment which may be as early as sometime next week. So presumably I just sit and twiddle my thumbs until they come - no date, no time nothing to indicate if or when.
In the afternoon I met up with James and we took the dogs for a walk. He has done the right thing by getting out of the situation before it impacts on his health which has been improving so dramatically of late. I was so worried that all the work we have put into getting him back on his feet would be damaged by Mikes deteriorating mental state. Unfortunately I cannot extricate myself from the mess just yet. I was hoping to find a way of getting some respite care for Mike but it would be easier to book the presidential suite at Claridges. All I would have to do is win the lottery and hey presto it would be done.
The plan of campaign now is to make sure that I take myself out of the house as much as possible and go and visit friends or wander around the shops. I am very well aware that if I go down the whole house of cards goes down. For this reason I am moving myself to priority number one. This is completely alien to my nature but I know I must do it no matter how hard it is. I need to be away from this toxic environment.