Saturday morning and the worst day of my life

None of us has slept well last night as today I have to fulfill the obligation I made with Basso the day I brought him home.  He has lymphoma which is cancer of the lymph nodes for which there is no cure.  There is chemotherapy which might extend his life for a short while but why put him through that only to find ourselves at this point some way down the line.  In the end it is quality of life rather than length which is important.  He will suffer no more and die in my arms after which I will fall apart.  I am writing this now as I know I will be a basket case afterwards.  James will accompany me and he too will fall apart, after all it was Basso who saved his life and they have been great mates ever since.  The five years we have had together have been some of the best and I console myself with the fact that he has had the very best of life.  He has fulfilled his potential in every way and I can't bear to see him suffer a minute longer than necessary.  Though it breaks my heart I know it is the right thing to do to keep him going would be for my benefit not his.  If only we could be this kind to people instead we make them suffer to the bitter end and believe me I have seen enough people die slowly in agony.  The grief will be intense but it will pass and I have a wonderful set of memories of my most faithful companion.


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