Well today is the last full day that Denzil is with us and then tomorrow he is off back to Thailand and who knows when or if we will see him again. I thought I had come to terms with his emigration but I haven't, I feel totally devastated that he is going. He says he is happy there but I don't really believe him and I worry for his future in a country with no social security or medical care. Selfishly, I worry about my future too, it would be nice to have him around now that I am getting older and Mike is not so well. Just to put the tin lid on it, I got a phone call from a friend in Bath to tell me that her husband, who has been suffering from prostate cancer, is now bed ridden, semi conscious and not long for this world. She is desperately trying to get him into a hospice, which is where he wanted to die, but the doctor and nursing staff are reluctant to move him. She has nursed him for the last 12 years which is a testament to how well she has looked after him but she is tired now and wants it all to be over which I fully understand. He is asking everyone who visits to put him out of his misery which is proving very difficult especially for his children.
Sorry to hit you with all this doom and despondency but I am finding it hard to be cheerful just at the moment. I feel that once Denzil has left I should possibly make a trip down to Bath and keep Mary company through the last few days but I will ring her on Wednesday night and see if she would like me to do that. It will at least take my mind off my own problems.....Mike should be able to cope alone for a few days and the dogs won't die if they don't get a walk. The problem is that it would leave him without a car which could prove difficult. I have also got an arrangement to go shooting on Sunday but I can cancel that.
Today I am going swimming at 7.30 and then we are going to hit the Bluewater shopping centre at 10am when they open. Denzil is looking for some jeans to buy to take back with him as the trousers in Thailand are designed for little people and he is 6' 2". We will no doubt lunch while we are out and I have nothing planned for supper tonight. I plucked and drew a nice brace of pheasants that Sandi brought me from the shoot on Saturday and I have put them in the freezer. We took the dogs for a nice walk down by the river and as the tide was in the dogs all had to go in the water. Casey, Sandies yellow lab went in after a sea gull and as Basso is in love with her he followed but not deep enough to actually swim if only she had stayed in the water a bit longer I think he might have gone with her but no such luck.
Anyway that is about it for today I apologise for the sad flavour of today's blog but these things happen I hope you have a better day.......

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